1Introduction, A Gift From Derrick3:32
2Some Jokes That Have To Do With My Girlfriend, A Hotel In Boston, A Man In Provincetown, Twitter, Time Vs. Timing, A Neck Pillow5:01
3Sub Pop Showcase At SxSW / Ask A Pastor5:00
4Some Jokes That Touch Upon Religion, Guitar Center / A LinkedIn Profile5:44
5The Time I Was Mugged In Mexico With Michael Stipe5:48
6Girlfriend, Khaleesi, Any Questions, Making A ‘Zine3:50
7Contacting Celebrities On Facebook4:19
8Not Happy With A Parking Ticket I Got In Portsmouth, NH7:59
9Paintings I Made To Showcase At My Local Whole Foods / I Marry A Couple From The Audience On Stage9:35
10Welcome To The Meditation, Please Get Comfortable3:22
11The Body / Feet & Legs4:22
12Tummy, Doodle & Hoo-Hoo / Heart5:49
13Throat, Arms & Hands / Head4:33
14Thank You Body, Simple Ways To Relax3:15
15Introduction / Horse / Horse Galloping / Horse III / Duck / Duck II / Dog / Cat / Cat Purring / Cat Asking For Directions / Two Sheep Arguing / Mice Making Fried Rice / Bear / Wolf / Fox Embarrassed About His Boner / Giraffe Sleeping / Turtle…3:05
16Doorbell / Alarm Clock / Frying Pan Sizzle / Teapot Whistle / Dishwasher Running / Telephone Ringing / Telephone Falling On The Ground / Shower Running / Crackling Fire / VCR Ejecting A Tape / Group Of Businessmen Agreeing / Baby Locked In A Dresser…3:11
17Rave / Last Guy At A Rave / Train / Steam Engine / Neon Sign / Motorcycle / Scanning An Item / Feeling For A Ripe Avocado / Jihadist After Seeing About A Boy / Jack-In-The-Box / Jigsaw Puzzle / Fire Truck / Video Game…3:01
18Police Siren / Police Siren In Europe / Police Siren In Belgium / Gun Shot / Machine Gun / .357 Magnum Inside A Watermelon / Gays In The Military / Thunder / Rain / Hurricane / Blizzard / Snowing / Sentient Robot Going About His Daily Business…3:05
19Going To Warp Speed / Alien Supermarket / Laser Gunfire / Someone Controlling Technology By Waving Their Hands / Ronald Reagan Taking A Shower / Tacos / Fur Coat Getting Fucked By A Bunch Of Cats / Tree Falling In A Forest…3:09
20Grasshopper Asking A Dog A Question / Shortwave Radio / Two Apples On A Rainy Sunday In The Fall / Dentist Having Sex / Panda At A Hotel / Birth Control Pills Telling A Little Boy Not To Eat Them / Cat That Doesn’t Mind / Male Toothpaste Being Sneaky2:59
21LGBT Party Where People Are Eating Sushi / LGBT Newsletter That Loves The Expendables Franchise / Sweaty Kid Crying About A Sandwich / Too Many Pieces Of Paper / Puddle / Magic Clown Using His Powers / Wild Turkey Bragging About His Mansion…3:10
22Boy Who Loves Hammocks / Dustpan / A Billion Ants Writing A Complaint Letter / Two 20-Year-Olds Touching Their Winkies / Yellow Line That Divides Roads / Smell Of A Pear / Group Of Wealthy Men / Confused Child / 25 Rats Sleeping / Flowers / Fishing…3:01
23The Moment A Well-Respected Author Wins The Guinness World Record / Salad / Little Girl Teasing A Lamp / Zoo With Nothing To Lose / Racist Stapler / Friendship Bracelet / Thor’s Hammer, Mjölnir / Two Lost Fireflies / Humpback Whale…6:04
24A Medically Reliable Introduction To Digital Drugs / Marijuana3:25
25PCP3:00
26Heroin3:00
27Apple Cider Vinegar3:00
28MDMA3:00
29LSD3:00
30Amoxicillin3:00
31Peyote3:00
32Amaretto Sour3:00
33Oxycodone3:00
34Crying / More Crying / Still Crying19:42
35I Simply Keep Crying25:36
36Welcome To My Russian Audio Phrasebook / Common Statements & Questions For Everyday Situations / Conversational Russian In The Workplace4:52
37Casual Phrases For Parties, Pubs & Outings / Proper Dinner Conversation For The Educated Guest5:39
38Small Talk With Strangers & Acquaintances in Public Spaces3:00
39Useful Phrases While On Vacation In Russia / Commonplace Subjects Within The Rich World of Academia5:29
40Polite Ways To Engage People of High Status3:15
41Enter The Fuckscape3:08
42Take A Ride On The Poon Schooner3:20
43I'm A Dirty Little Foreign Advisor3:32
44I Thought I Was The Pancake Man3:46
45You're A World-Class Pussy-Grifter8:19
46Intro To Ringtones / Phone Call / Vibrate Vibrate Vibrate / Ding-Dong Doodly-Doo / Waterfalls Shrimp Shrimp / Fiddle-Doddle-Doodle-Deedle / Doo-Doo-Pa-Dee-Da-Da-Pada/ Phone Is Ringing / Friend / Love / Spicy Fish/ Mother Calling / Father Calling…3:06
47Someone Is Calling / Fuckface Calling / Acquaintance / Unnnnnn / Auauauauauauau / Wouowowoooouuuooo/ Whistle Ring / Trtrtrtrtrtrtrllllbbrrr / Vrrrvvvvvvvvvvbbbrrr / Hyeuueehuuyehyeheyehyeyeeuu / Gwreeegwkqreu / Hrrruuhrrrunnghruu / Hraaaa! Hraavlaa!...3:07
48Colleague / Doodle-Doodle Hoo-Hoo / Hey! / Waffles / Fuckbuddy / Piano Cleaner / Bryan / Cream Cheese / Rabbi / Priest / I Can’t Answer The Phone / / Intro To Outgoing Voicemail Messages / Dr. Fart / Sarah / Social Anxiety / The Sizzle-Maker3:14
49Mittens / Kate / No Answer / Debbie / Andrew / Phil Donahue / Kaitlin / Old Man / Steve / Lucy / Judy / Megan / Leave Your Name / Kim / Tim / Miguel / Sebastian / Penicillin Dong / Thong McHacky-Sack / Matt / Katie / Confident Balls / Robert3:12
50Mr. Shitface / Pile Of Sneakers / Pasta Nasty / Crème Fresh Jackson / I Can’t Answer The Phone / Flitchy Woo-Woo / Slick Motherfucker / Sleepy Horse / Can’t Come To Phone / Dawn/ I Am A Doctor / Nick / Poodle / Hello, Mr. Cunt…5:13
